How well would you say this descriptive writing is?

I don't think it was descriptive at all, because all your descriptions were over done & too simple w/o being Hemingway simple. The writing itself isn't good; it's being done & not only done but it looks like 80 % of the work that is posted on Ya. Ans. However, don't be insulted by that. Improve on your craft. Art is something that takes pionate practice & self-discipline.